From Pudding Pig-Out to Carnivore Quest: My Six Days Meat-a-Mania Experiment

Forget mistletoe and mulled wine, my latest holiday adventure involves… meat. Lots and lots of meat. Six days ago, I ditched the carbs and embarked on a culinary odyssey - the carnivore diet. Yes, you read that right, it's all about steaks, salmon, and bacon, with maybe a little cheese as a side hustle.

Why Carnivore? Now, I know what you're thinking: "Rick, haven't you heard of vegetables? What about potatoes and gravy?" Believe me, I miss them dearly. But after years of battling acid reflux and joint pain, a meat-only feast started sounding strangely appealing. I have tried this before. Just prior to the Scorpion Nationals in 2018, the carnivore diet helped me shed a stone in four weeks, but the real magic was the vanishing joint pain and newfound flexibility. This time, I'm hoping to repeat the weight loss feat, silence the acid monster, and maybe even bend enough to comfortably get in the front of a Scorpion again...

The Early Wins: Guess what? It's working! After just a couple of days, the heartburn that haunted me for years has vanished. No more nighttime acid wake-up calls. It's like someone finally kicked the sugar-fueled rave out of my stomach. My mornings are no longer punctuated by burning reminders of yesterday's dinner.

Benefits Beyond the Belly: But the good news doesn't stop there. My knees, usually morning grumpkins, are feeling surprisingly chipper. Did someone sneak in and oil my hinges overnight? My RSI-plagued thumb, a casualty of too much mouse action, is also thanking me for the meaty switch.

Hunger? What Hunger? : And then there's the hunger, or rather, the lack of it. I used to be a biscuit bandit, constantly rummaging for sugary treats. Now, a simple ham and cheese lunch keeps me satisfied for hours. It's a refreshing change from the bottomless-pit feeling of pre-carnivore me.

Weight Loss Progress (and More!): While the pounds aren't melting like snowflakes on a hot stove, the scale's needle is definitely inching leftwards. But the weight loss is just a bonus. I feel lighter, both physically and mentally. My belt buckle even migrated to a new, tighter hole!

Disclaimer and Final Thoughts: Look, I know the carnivore diet isn't for everyone. My vegetarian friends are probably giving me the side-eye right now. But for those grappling with reflux, joint pain, or the constant hunger pangs, it might be worth exploring. Just remember, listen to your body, do your research, and consult a doctor before taking the meaty plunge. And maybe hold off until after the holiday feasts are over.

So, there you have it, my carnivore chronicles. Six days in, and I'm feeling great. I'll keep you posted on my progress. Meanwhile, enjoy your Christmas and New Year holidays. Here's to good health, clear skies, happy holidays, and the occasional cheeky sausage.